Where did you get a picture of my penis
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
