Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
