My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
either way he was missing a nipple.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
