She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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