just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize