Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
