I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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