I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Pappa wants mamma naked
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
These tits shall not be calmed
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
