If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
