I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
