I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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