My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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