That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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