from now on my penis is your penis
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
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But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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