I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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