I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
