If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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