in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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