He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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