The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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