I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
