Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
