About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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