I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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