At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
