Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz

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(303): View more from Colorado

woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?

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(253): View more from Washington

Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes

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(770): View more from Georgia

She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.

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(253): View more from Washington

He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night

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