Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.

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  (913): your life is more of a joke than dina lohan. (1-913): if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan. http://tfl.nu/safo
  Replies (7) Good night (672) Bad night (1754)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  can you pick me up an extra syllabus

  (317): View more from Indiana

  i passed out in the shower again

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  (317): can you pick me up an extra syllabus (317): i passed out in the shower again http://tfl.nu/i8ap
  Replies (26) Good night (4292) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.

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  (510): You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen. http://tfl.nu/ldf9
  Replies (20) Good night (1147) Bad night (7347)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store

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  (616): bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store http://tfl.nu/dcxn
  Replies (7) Good night (3328) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.

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  (203): Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk. http://tfl.nu/6oqy
  Replies (4) Good night (2599) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

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  (218): The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME http://tfl.nu/4k9l
  Replies (15) Good night (4452) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.

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  (206): I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day. http://tfl.nu/kwoe
  Replies (32) Good night (2279) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.

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  (810): I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure. http://tfl.nu/tlfm
  Replies (5) Good night (1068) Bad night (1695)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.

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  (540): how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove. http://tfl.nu/z4wf
  Replies (10) Good night (1433) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?

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  (407): Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night? http://tfl.nu/69ho
  Replies (4) Good night (1004) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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  (740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1440) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.

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  (302): Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird. http://tfl.nu/awda
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.

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  (307): I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard. http://tfl.nu/j9hb
  Replies (15) Good night (947) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now

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  (425): I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now http://tfl.nu/j4rg
  Replies (4) Good night (818) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.

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  (312): I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct. http://tfl.nu/4xpm
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (226)

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