I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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