Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist