My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.