im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The feeling are messing with the penis
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
