Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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