Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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