I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
