im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
