I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
