if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
