ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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