Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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