party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
