Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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