don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize