i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
