Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
