Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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