I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
