hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
