What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
