The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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