I wish I could teleport
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize