Jerry, you need to find god
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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