do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
