So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
