weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
