We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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