sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
