Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We have so much sex to catch up on
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
