thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
