My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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