i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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