fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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