almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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