i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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