Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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