he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wish my penis had a tongue
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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