We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
