i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
