He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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