...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
