I didn't shave. On purpose
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
