I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
