his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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